A.R. Ammons #43 from Glare

sometimes I get the feeling I’ve never
lived here at all, and 31 years seem

no more than nothing: I have to stop
and think, oh, yeah, there was the

kid, so much anguish over his allergy,
and there was the year we moved to

another house, and oh, yes, I remember
the lilies we planted near that

siberian elm, and there was the year
they made me a professor, and the

year, right in the middle of a long
poem, when I got blood poisoning from

an ingrown toenail not operated on
right: but a wave slices through,

canceling everything, and the space
with nothing to fill it shrinks and

time collapses, so that nothing happened,
and I didn’t exist, and existence

itself seems like a wayward temporizing,
an illusion nonexistence sometimes

stumbles into: keep your mind open,
something might crawl in: which

reminds me of my greatest saying:
old poets never die, they just scrawl

away: and then I think of my friends
who may have longed for me, and I say

oh, I’ll be here the next time
around: alas, the next time will

not come next: so what am I to say
to friends who know I’m not here and

won’t be back: I’m sorry I missed
you guys: but even with the little

I know I loved you a lot, a lot more
than I said: our mountains here are

so old they’re hills: they’ve been
around around 300 million years but

indifference in all that time broke
itself only to wear them out: my

indifference is just like theirs: it
wipes itself clear: surely, I will have

another chance: surely, nothing is
let go till trouble free: when

I come back I’m going to be there
every time: and then the wave that

comes to blank me out will be set
edgy and jiggling with my recalcitrance

and my consciousness will take on weight

Sam Smith – Lay Me Down (Live on SNL)

Lyrics:

Yes, I do, I believe
That one day I will be where I was
Right there, right next to you
And it’s hard, the days just seem so dark
The moon, the stars are nothing without you

Your touch, your skin,
Where do I begin?
No words can explain the way I’m missing you
Deny this emptiness, this hole that I’m inside
These tears, they tell their own story

You told me not to cry when you were gone
[Regular version:] But the feeling’s overwhelming, they’re much too strong
[Acoustic version:] But the feeling’s overwhelming, it’s much too strong

Can I lay by your side, next to you, you
And make sure you’re alright?
I’ll take care of you,
And I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight

I’m reaching out to you
Can you hear my call? (who’s to say you won’t hear me?)
This hurt that I’ve been through
I’m missing you, missing you like crazy

You told me not to cry when you were gone
[Regular version:] But the feeling’s overwhelming, they’re much too strong
[Acoustic version:] But the feeling’s overwhelming, it’s much too strong

Can I lay by your side, next to you, you
And make sure you’re alright?
I’ll take care of you
And I don’t wanna be here if I can’t be with you tonight

Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side
Lay me down tonight, lay me by your side

Can I lay by your side, next to you, you
[Acoustic version ends here]
And make sure you’re alright?
I’ll take care of you
And I don’t wanna be here if I can’t be with you tonight