A Poem

Like Most Revelations
by Richard Howard

(after Morris Louis)

It is the movement that incites the form,
discovered as a downward rapture–yes,
it is the movement that delights the form,
sustained by its own velocity. And yet

it is the movement that delays the form
while darkness slows and encumbers; in fact
it is the movement that betrays the form,
baffled in such toils of ease, until

it is the movement that deceives the form,
beguiling our attention–we supposed
it is the movement that achieves the form.
Were we mistaken? What does it matter if

it is the movement that negates the form?
Even though we give (give up) ourselves
to this mortal process of continuing,
it is the movement that creates the form.

Sirius XM pushed me to Pandora

I have been a long time subscriber to Sirius XM. It used to be that my car subscription entitled me to stream their content to my computer at no additional charge. Apparently no more. When going through an annual billing cycle recently, they would not let me continue to tap into their internet stream at no additional charge. I switched, therefore, to PANDORA while on the computer. When it comes to music, Pandora seems to offer more than Sirius XM anyway. I guess a business needs to do what they need to do to continue to turn a profit, just like consumers need to do what they can to hang on to their dollars.

Summer Story (A Poem by Mary Oliver)

When the hummingbird
sinks its face
into the trumpet vine,
into the funnels

of the blossoms,
and the tongue
leaps out
and throbs,

I am scorched
to realize once again
how many small, available things
are in this world

that aren’t
pieces of gold
or power —
that nobody owns

or could buy even
for a hillside of money—
that just
float about the world,

or drift over the fields,
or into the gardens,
and into the tents of the vines,
and now here I am

spending my time,
as the saying goes,
watching until the watching turns into feeling,
so that I feel I am myself

a small bird with a terrible hunger,
with a thin beak probing and dipping
and a heart that races so fast

it is only a heartbeat ahead of breaking—
and I am the hunger and the assuagement,
and also I am the leaves and the blossoms,
and, like them, I am full of delight, and shaking.

(Mary Oliver)

Click here to see and purchase the book this poem is found in

Inconsiderate Nature

I landed in a midwest town today for a business meeting. The company that contracted for my services asked me to ride with a couple of their employees in a vehicle they rented. (Kia Sedona Van). Never again. I will do my own driving from now on. I know the driver superficially from past meetings I have worked. She has always seemed generally intelligent and kind. Her driving however is reckless, dangerous and inconsiderate!

We are in a high profile vehicle and one she is totally unfamiliar with. She was trying to drive out of town while figuring out the knobs and controls while reading a map and talking –in sign language– to the front passenger. She consequently drifted into an island barrier at about 60 mph which thankfully had a gentle sloping curb that she recovered from hitting. Not long after that she stopped on the freeway at an interchange while she figured out which way to go. (In front of those yellow water filled barriers with traffic passing on both sides).

When we got onto the interstate she reached speeds up to 95 mph in 65mph zones. She never used the cruise control. She drifted in and out of her lane while taking both hands off the wheel and her eyes off the road. (Conversing in Sign Language with the front passenger) At one point she drifted out of an open lane into a blocked lane while rolling down her window and had to brake and abruptly correct her course to avoid rear ending a vehicle going probably 20mph slower than she was. Because she wants to drive faster than anyone else on the road she ends up doing some horrific tailgating before people could move out of her way. Passing on the right and left I felt like I was in a cruisin’ USA video game! 90 mph seemed to be her favorite target speed.

The freeway medians in many places were the open dipped grassy type with no barrier to traffic going the other way. The type that easily produce a rollover when someone drifts onto them and then over corrects without thinking. Twice she drifted onto the rumble strip. Beyond the rumble strip there appeared to be about 6 inches before sloping dirt and grass.

It is one thing to drive like this when transporting yourself. It is quite another to put at risk passengers whose sensibilities for speed and safety you do not know. It was astonishingly inconsiderate in my opinion!

I kept hoping that a state trooper would pull us over. We saw a few but they always had a semi pulled over. I have the feeling however that a ticket would not alter her behavior in the least, now that I’ve seen how egregious it is. I still wish it would have happened though. It would have been a nice lead in for me to tell her how uncomfortable she was making me while we were safely stopped.
Why are some people so INCONSIDERATE; seemingly unable to put themselves in the shoes of others?!

Now that I have arrived on scene, I need to decide how to address the issue so that I don’t ride with her again. I think what I will do is talk with her privately, telling her how I felt about her driving, and explaining that I won’t be riding with her again. She may promise to slow down but speed was not the whole issue. It was keeping the car on the road too. I want her to pay some price and learn a lesson so that she doesn’t kill the someone who replaces me in that seat, but I don’t want to be the “tattle tale” either.

I guess if it might legitimately save a person’s life, then maybe I shouldn’t worry about being the “bad guy”. In a way, it is just like confronting an impaired driver. I was not the only one in the car. The passenger noticed the speeds because I remember him commenting on them a time or two but not in a “hey, you are scaring me” way. . Maybe he was less bothered by them. I will ask.

My room doesn’t have wi-fi access and I left my ethernet cable at home. I will get a cable tomorrow from the front desk. This posting to my blog is being done through a WordPress application I downloaded onto my blackberry. It’s pretty spiffy!

Blows to the Head

Today I read an article by Malcomb Gladwell entitled “Offensive Play” How Different are Dogfighting and Football? In the article he describes how dog owners send the dogs back into the fight, despite serious injuries. Those dogs that are willing to fight through the pain and trauma are referred to as “gamers”. Likewise, in Football, those who are willing to sustain injury and get back into the game, are often applauded for their tenacity and strength.

He described some new scientific findings that confirm how repeated blows to the head lead to serious problems.

This is now really news of course, but it adds to the pile of evidence that continues to mount concerning the topic. The comparison with Dogfighting and the detailing of Michael Vick’s actions makes an interesting comparison and a compelling article.

Of course, people frequently engage in reckless behavior which will ultimately lead to health problems and or a shortening of their lifespan. They don’t even need the allure of money and fame to be tempted. Long before their was money and fame to be had in professional football, men played the sport. I personally believe that these days, every NFL football player is keenly aware of the statistics and head injury information outlined in the article. I am also not so cynical as to believe the NFL doesn’t care.  I think they are very concerned on moral grounds and in the interest of preserving their sport/business.  If I remember right, Steve Young (QB of the San Francisco 49ers) retired MANY YEARS AGO and earlier than people expected precisely because he was concerned about repeated blows to the head. He wanted to make sure he had long and dementia free life after football. Time will tell if he quit in time.

Ironically, it may be that the development of more advanced helmets with facemasks, has done more to increase head injury within the sport because of how it sped up the game, allowing for more speedy and violent collisions. As far as I know, the brain does not have pain receptors, but the surface of the skull does. A desire to avoid the pain of getting whomped in the head, may be the best protection for the brain. What is, after all, pain for?

What I would like to see, is a comparison of head injury statistics from Australian Football and Rugby (where their headgear is minimal to none) as compared to the NFL.

On a personal note, I played football beginning in Elementary school through High School. I did not play in College. I certainly had my bell run on the football field from time to time but the only memorable–visit the hospital type–of concussion came on the BASEBALL diamond. I’ll spare you the details. They called it a mild concussion in the newspaper the next day. (Yeah right!)

I think of myself as a generally safe and cautious person. I wonder what I would have done, if, in my youth, I would have read an article like Malcomb Gladwell’s. I wonder if I would have taken a pass, on football, or been compelled, with that youthful desire to test one’s mettle against others and be part of an athletic team, to participate in the face of this strong scientifically based concern. I don’t know, but I am glad that my children took a pass on football. Times have changed and are changing. It’s a good thing. We’re getting smarter, but it’s difficult to hold back the tide of our biology compelling us to “act out” through sports that are ultimately detrimental to our health.

By the way, is a Marathon good for one’s health? How about a half marathon?

Well, while we get this all figured out, eat right, exercise regularly, and avoid banging your head.

e.e. cummings poem

Do you remember when the fluttering dusk,
Beating the west with faint wild wings, through space
Sank, with Nights arrow in her heart? The face
Of heaven clouded with the Day’s red doom
Was veiled in silent darkness, and the musk
Of summer’s glorious rose breathed in the gloom.

Then from the world’s harsh voice and glittering eyes,
The awful rant and roar of men and things,
Forth fared we into Silence. The strong wings
Of Nature shut us from the common crowd;
On high, the stars like sleeping butterflies
Hung from the great grey drowsy flowers of cloud.

(From The Harvard Monthly, June 1913)

A day in the life

10/12/2009

Weight at the opening bell: 218.5 (Goal 190)

Fluff and Fold drop off: 30 lbs even

Ihop: Classic Skillet, no meat.  Overhead music consisted of Neko Case and Jason Mraz. 

Starbucks: They made no suggestion so I had what I wanted which was a tall, non-fat white chocolate mocha with one pump of peppermint.

Business: Made SIMPLE IRA contributions and worked on  a Suspense Report review for the bookkeeper.

Entertainment: YouTube, “mynameismeghan” (a few of her old songs in her garage) and video of a Mother dancing joyously with her child to a Neil Diamond song.  Replaying the Mother-Daughter dance in my head makes me smile every time. 

Lunch: Cajun Chicken Pasta Soup. 

News: High School Senior Daughter was voted into the top 10 for homecoming queen this Friday.  25 girls were originally slated.  I feel so badly for the 24 that have such high young hopes that will be dashed.  Including, probably, my lovely daughter. 

Evening Workout: Stairmaster, 1 hour.  Heartrate: 140’s. Playing in the ears was:  This American Life Podcast, episode: “Fine Print”.  So many of THIS AMERICAN LIFE’S shows are DEPRESSING!  I can’t take that show in large doses. 

Evening: Watched a few episodes of the HBO series “6 Feet Under”.  I am on episode 6 of season 2.   Poor dumb Nate! 

One-A-Day photo:  (A project of mine where I snap and upload one photo a day to my flickr/facebook regardless of quality)  (An experiment)

THE END

The Blessing of Chores

Since moving to my own place and living alone I have revisited chores that had, for years, been left in the hands of other family members. What a pleasure filled rediscovery! Everyone should have plenty of chores to do! Yes, chores are chores, but I have discovered, oddly perhaps, that they contribute to my happiness! (Oh, if only my Parents could read this!)

I suspect one needs a daily sense of accomplishment and chores are always there, waiting to offer that satisfaction. They allow one to honestly say, when completed, that “today I took care of business”, if only a small part of the total business of living.

Last night’s chores included: Washing the bathroom mirror, sink, tub and toilet and decluttering SOME of the office papers that found themselves piling up on the floor and desk and shopping.

This morning’s chores, so far, have included: Sweeping, decluttering the kitchen table, washing the table, (no small task considering the mini-gutters it contains) taking the leaf out of the table, (the table is too big for the space with it in) reorganizing a closet, and refilling a bird feeder, vacuuming and mailing some packages.  

When I went away to college, one of the 3×5 cards that my Dad stuffed into my suitcase, which contained a piece of parting advice on each card, referred to how there was work to be done EVERYDAY. I believe he was referring to daily chores. (Homework.. etc.)

Growing up, my primary chores were taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, feeding the cows, sweeping the shop, and changing the water on the lawn and in the fields (moving pipe) and other farm work that arose. My other assigned chore was to attend to baseball, basketball, and football practice. I think most people would call “ball practice” PLAY, but after a few years, it started to feel more like a chore. 

Now I live in town where someone else cuts the grass and the only personal chores available to me are housework and personal hygiene. Yes sometimes I consider it a chore to shower, shave and brush my teeth.  : - ) These indoor chores of vacuuming, dusting, cleaning, organizing, decluttering,.. etc.. are currently holding my interest and serving to bless my life–and, in the case of personal hygiene, blessing the lives of others.  : – )

I’m thankful, at least today, for chores.

FINIS

Over silent waters
day descending
night ascending
floods the gentle glory of the sunset
In a golden greeting
splendidly to westward
as pale twilight
trem-
bles
into
Darkness
comes the last light’s gracious exhortation
Lifting up to peace
so when life shall falter
standing on the shores of the
eternal
god
May i behold my sunset
Flooding
over silent waters

(e.e. cummings 1917)

Warning by Jenny Joseph

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.